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I Ruined My Teenage Years with an Eating Disorder
Anorexia, orthorexia, phobia-driven disorder, I’ve tasted them all. Here’s what it felt like.
It’s difficult to put the feeling of years of undulating secret mental illness into words, but here’s an attempt.
A teenage girl suffering a life-altering eating disorder is hardly unique. We’ve been portrayed (usually terribly) in film, TV, music, and books for decades. In that time we’ve been glamourised, idolised, and torn apart in equal measure.
Eating disorders as a whole are still taboo, even in our current age of mental health awareness. We openly discuss matters of depression and anxiety, or encourage people to “speak up.” But how many of us open our minds to deeper issues? Eating disorders, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorders, and so many more conditions continue to live in shadow.
I wrote previously about how it felt to grow up with a childhood eating disorder, but let’s get into what it felt like as an almost-grown-up.
How It Started
While my childhood issues were embedded in emetophobia, my teenage issues arose from body image and control. Heavy emphasis on that control part.